Happy National Infertility Week!
(A little bit of how BYU cheer prepared me for infertility)
“Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those who are obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others…By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves.”
-President Gordon B. Hinckley
At the end of every week the words I dreaded most coming from coach always followed the last 10 minutes of practice:
"Tuck check!"
Most of the time for me throwing a back tuck meant throwing up a prayer.
One day when I was working on that dreadful tuck a team mate of mine, who along the edge of the mat watched me struggle to pick myself back up, suggested I start praying for mastery. I had been struggling the entire season to complete a back tuck and everyone knew it.
I went home that night and bore my heart and soul out to Heavenly Father begging and craving for help to just land my tucks. Every morning before practice I pleaded, every evening before bed I advocated. If I could just land those tucks I would do anything!
I sat out two games in a row before I started letting myself think they must have made a mistake putting me on this team because clearly the improvement was not happening. I had felt very strongly going into try outs that it was exactly where I needed to be, that the Lord was pleased with my decision and efforts so why was I failing so miserably?
Over the course of a few more weeks I realized it wasn't about the back tuck. Being a part of this incredibly talented cheer team wasn't about my tumbling or stunting skills, in fact it wasn't about me at all.
The truth is I wasn't there to be a stand out cheerleader. I wasn't there for the uniform or the pom-poms. I was there to learn how to be a light of Christ and along the way, He would bless me with people I would need in my life and experiences that I may never have known otherwise.
I was reminded of this profound lesson I learned as I reflected on an answer when I was asked a few weeks ago "How are you doing?"
I think I confuse a few people when I respond with the counter that I'm in fact doing great! My life is not about PCOS. It is not about infertility and my battle with pregnancy, in fact
it shouldn't be about me at all.
A lesson about motherhood that I need to pray for mastery.
As I've found myself down on my knees pleading to the Father, I've seen myself back on the sidelines, watching my friends performing and entertaining 63,000 people. There is no thrill quite like being tossed up in the air with one hand getting a crowd to rise and shout. Just as I am sure there is no such joy as welcoming a new life into the world.
I may have never been able to perfect a back tuck but I never stopped trying because stopping trying meant I was willing to give up all the other wonderful and significant blessings that would make way through being a part of BYU cheer.
Either 12:27
And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
When you choose to stop trying you're choosing to let your weakness stay weak. As I have had the courage to share my story, I have physically and emotionally been able to see the significant blessings I would be giving up if I stopped trying. If I let infertility stay a weakness than the many hands that reached out in my behalf to share stories both of success and sorrow would be meaningless. The endless acts of service and love both given and received would be non-existent. I've communicated with a number of women I recently have been connected with through our commonality of infertility. I have been able to lend a hand when necessary and I have learned how to let others serve and uplift me. Had I not asked the Lord for help in making it through my trial, I would have never found the strength I rely on today.
“Don't you quit. You keep walking, you keep trying, there is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon. Some come late. Some don't come until heaven. But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come. It will be alright in the end. Trust God and believe in Good Things to Come.”-Jeffrey R. Holland
If you know someone going through infertility, take a moment to reach out to them this week and encourage them to keep trying- whatever that may mean.
He is always there. He is very aware
All my love,
Alyssa
